#but the beauty in that album and all music is how the lyrics artists write about their own situations can relate to the listeners themselves

[daddy-long-legssss]

I learned that you can make it to that kind of level and remain in tact as a human being. And I learned that Sheffield’s people are very similar to Irish people. We bumped into them at the same pub a fair few times. But I believe it goes beyond that.

— Grian Chatten from Fontaines D.C. on what they learned after touring with Arctic Monkeys [x]

[vilhelios]

-; SWEET MUSIC PLAYING IN THE DARK.

your poor, overworked, singer-songwriter boyfriend has not been having a good time with comeback season. thankfully, he has you, his muse, to kickstart his creative processes—sadly, that means he's going to write yet another love song about you in his group's newest album.

CW: k-pop idol/group au! fluff, fluff and more fluff! mentions of xavier, zayne, sylus, and caleb ; not beta read, small text, all lowercase letters.

“and this—” a kiss to the jaw. “—is part of—” another kiss, a shiver jolting down your spine at the feel of his lips against your pulse point. “—your creative process?”

it’s almost embarrassing how small your voice is now, loud in the silence of rafayel’s little studio. your hands clench and unclench around rafayel’s white shirt as he peppers kisses up and down your neck, not a single sliver of your exposed skin remaining unkissed. (after all, he’d say, he must drown in every part of you.)

“hey, every artist needs their muse.” rafayel shrugs, his hands at your waist grabbing at the warm flesh there, a teasing yet grounding touch. “i just need to be appreciating said muse to get the lyrics flowing in my head.”

before you can say much else, he nuzzles his face against the crook of your neck, and he practically melts into you as he breathes in your comforting, familiar scent. like fresh laundry, citrus, honey; he recognises it as the new perfume he bought for you just a few months ago (oh, god bless royalties and good album sales… he gets to spoil his little darling). a happy little sigh leaves him as he nuzzles against you again, shifting to let your bodies melt together in a happy little pile on his office chair—you’re just what he needs after a stressful day of brainstorming new lyrics and melodies with zayne and sylus, banging his head against the wall designing concept art for the new album’s cover, and being dragged around the dance studio (half-dead and limbless) by caleb and xavier.

“yeah, i know…” you sigh, and move your hands upward, fingers curling in his soft purple hair. luckily enough, he hasn’t had to dye his hair yet, what with linkon’s netizens finding his hair to be a particularly lovable part of his charm. (they’d be right; also up there are his big, beautiful eyes, and his impressive vocal range.) there’s a beat of silence, and then you speak up again, pressing a kiss to his hair just as he presses one in kind to your throat; “are the lyrics popping up in your head…?”

“hmm.” rafayel hums, almost like he’s thinking about it. “no.” he says, simple as that, and chuckles when you groan in exasperation. “all the ones i can think of wouldn’t fit the theme. and sy would actually kill me for making us sing another ballad that was clearly inspired by you.”

(they’ve released two albums and five eps, rounding up to about 50 songs in their discography… a good chunk of the love songs rafayel got his hands on in the production process felt like individual love letters written and sung just for you. It’s starting to reach a point where some of the smarter hunters—as their fandom is called—have deduced that at least one of the boys is in a relationship.)

“really?” you raise an eyebrow at him, hand moving to pinch his cheek, “well… if it’s anything like your usual songs about me… I can agree that it doesn’t match the theme.” you pull back a little—which elicits a whine from rafayel—to look at his current getup, which he’d been too lazy to change out of after the photobook photoshoot: a crisp white shirt, black pants, and leather chest harnesses. his hands, idly rubbing up and down your sides, were adorned in black leather gloves. all in all, an attractive outfit that’s trying to encapsulate a “bad boy”, mafia vibe. “i'll have to side with sy on this one.”

“even mafiosos can sing about how they’d love their darling in every universe, y’know.” rafayel hums, leaning back to rest his head properly on the chair, eyes trained on your face. his hands continue their idle smoothing down your sides, touch gentle and warm through the layers of fabric separating your skin. those beautiful indigo-pink eyes hold that heartbreaking softness in them, and it makes you want to gently run your thumbs under the dark circles under his eyes. (you never noticed, not until caleb pointed it out, but he only ever looks at you this way.)

rafayel’s next words are soft, without the characteristic teasing and filled with something akin to reverence: “what’s the harm in another song?” he whispers, leaning up to press a kiss to your cheek, "it’s just another universe to profess my love to you in, my darling muse.”

a/n: ... i saw rafayel in a harness, blacked out, and thirty minutes later this was ready on my word document. uhm. so those cards huh... (i have. enough pulls to secure you. but please come home early rafayel). reupload bc I FORGOT HOW TO TUMBLR??? and forgot tags 😭

[merrybloomwrites]

Niall Horan - You're My Muse

Summary: A job opportunity leads to a lifetime of happiness with Niall Horan.

Word Count: 1K

AN: I love Niall with Amelia so much that writing Niall x reader was a little awkward at first. Good reminder to myself that I'm writing characters based off of real people and it's all fiction haha

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When your manager told you that an opportunity had come up for you to record a song with Niall Horan, you just stared at her blankly for a minute.

“He’s recording music?” was your first question. You were a huge One Direction fan and had been devastated when the band went on hiatus. You'd been keeping up with any news regarding the boys and their solo careers. By that point, you had only heard Zayn’s music, and it had just been announced a couple months prior that Harry had signed a recording contract. 

But Niall? If there had been anything published about him, you’d know about it. He was your favorite band member after all. 

“It’s not public knowledge yet, but yes, he’s working on his first solo album,” Stacey replied.

Rather than start squealing in excitement, you’d taken a deep breath at the news. You quickly accepted the job, needing no further details. 

A week later you met Niall Horan for the first time. It was a surreal experience, and you remember maybe half of it, having blacked out for the other half. What you do remember is singing together, a beautiful song he’d written called “Seeing Blind”. You were shocked how much you were related to the lyrics. Weirder still was how much Niall was connected to it as well while singing with you.

You figured that he must have written it with someone else in mind and was thinking of her while singing.

Which is why you were utterly shocked when you received a call from him a couple weeks later asking if you’d go on a date with him. 

A silly and chaotic first date in Nashville led to a second, which led to a third. Now six years, a million dates, and two shared houses on two continents later, you and Niall have created a wonderful life together. 

While you do collaborate on songs occasionally, you’re still two independent artists. Part of your basement was made into an at home studio, with one section being completely soundproof. So while you can see each other through the window, you can’t hear each other if you’re on opposite sides of the glass. 

Niall spends most of his time inside the soundproof part. He likes to use all the instruments inside, recording parts as they come to him and playing around with the mixing equipment to hear different sounds. 

He also likes to watch you through the window as he brainstorms. He’s constantly endeared by your writing process, which includes various notebooks strewn across the floor and you repeatedly picking up your guitar, playing for a second, and placing it down again before writing a few words and notes on the page. 

One beautiful spring Saturday, you do a girls outing with your friends. After a day including brunch, a spa trip, and some time shopping, you arrive home. Niall greets you at the door. He takes your bags as he kisses you on the cheek and asks how your day was. 

You tell him all about it as he leads you out back to your patio. The sight catches you off guard. The table is set, and decorated. Garlands of flowers are draped around the railing, and decorative lights are set up to bathe the patio in a warm glow. 

“Did you do all this?” you ask, amazed how wonderful it looks. 

“I did, yea. May have gotten some tips from Harry but it was mostly my vision,” he says with a laugh.

“Well you did an amazing job. This looks perfect,” you say and he glows from the compliment. 

“I’ve made dinner as well. Not chicken, I promise,” he says and you both laugh, remembering the unseasoned chicken incident of 2017. 

He pulls out a chair and adds, “Have a seat, and some wine. I’ll go grab dinner.”

You take a sip of the wine he’d chosen and take another closer look at the decorations. A moment later he’s walking back out, a steaming tray in his hands.

“Is that Shepherd’s Pie?” you ask excitedly. It was the first thing he’d cooked for you years ago, and remains your favorite dish to this day. 

“It sure is,” he replies, setting it down on the table. He spoons some onto each of your plates and you cheers with your wine glasses as you wait for it to cool a bit.

You enjoy dinner together and after Niall clears away the plates, refusing your help, he walks back out with his guitar. 

“So uh, I’ve finished a new song that I’ve been working on and I wanted to share it with you,” he says, more timid than you’ve ever seen him. “It’s called ‘You Can Start a Cult’. It’s inspired by you.”

You’re intrigued by the title, and then he begins to play the most heart warming song you’ve ever heard. You’re not often moved to tears, but you're overwhelmed by emotion at this beautiful song he’d written about you. 

When he finishes playing he puts down the guitar, pulls a box from his pocket, and kneels in front of you. Your heart starts to race and you realize what’s happening a second before he starts to speak. 

“Y/N, these past years with you have been so wonderful. You are my best friend, and my favorite collaborator. You are my muse. You are the love of my life. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. Y/N, will you marry me?”

You take a deep breath before replying, “Yes, Niall, I will marry you.” 

The biggest smile appears on his face and he quickly moves in to hug you. You remain like that, holding each other for a few minutes, sharing small kisses and expressing your love for one another.

Months later, Niall’s tour begins. You join him for some shows, but others you can’t attend due to your own work. He has a rotating setlist, but “You Could Start a Cult” is played every night without fail. And every time he sings it, whether you’re in the audience, or thousands of miles away, it’s like he’s singing just to you.

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AN: Thank you for reading! I have a multi-chapter Niall x reader ABO fic planned for the fall!

[watchingsunrises]

Zayn lyrics analysis - Grateful and The Time

As promised some lyric analysis from Room Under the Stairs. Still can't stop listening to these songs or album.

Some points to make clear first for context. The narrative set up for this album was a big fake mess and in reality did not align to the lyrics and what Zayn tells us in his music or interviews if you pay attention. The narrative set was he'd been writing the album for 6 years, it was about his relationship of that period and it was also about his daughter.

First the timeline makes no sense, we are meant to believe that this album covers the period of 2017 to 2023??!! Please Zayn released 3 full albums in that time period. Most artists write in their current context they rarely hold on to songs for 6 years. If they are good they want them on that current album. Also the songs on this album all reflect significant personal growth, emotional intelligence, maturity, possibly some therapy, reframing of his life including on his past in 1D. Its clear those are more recent changes that usually come with age or significant life changes or overcoming challenges. So the narrative on the timeframe was all bullshit. Its likely he wrote this album in 2022 to 2023. A period where he was publically single. The narrative was used to cover the many love/long term partner related songs on the album. Hello, Stardust. 

Secondly Zayn made it clear in a few interviews that he is really fast at putting his music together. He literally said he can put an entire song down start to finish in 2 to 3 hours. Don't think he needed 6 years to put this album together. 

The other gem Zayn gave us in interviews was the in hindsight, I don't think I've ever been in love before. Thank you Zayn, if people pay attention he made it pretty clear he isn't writing any love songs about his former public relationships. Yet the album has multiple love related songs. Again, hence the bullshit narrative.

Thirdly, the narrative the album was about his daughter. I mean she was 2 to 3 when this album was written. He makes it clear even where there is a stunt line or two that he is talking to an adult, telling them deep things, doing things they shouldn't do, lying for them etc. Nothing speaks about a toddler here at all. Not once. I have a child only a few years older, there's no sign of a child in these lyrics. 

With that in mind I wanted to analyse two of my favourite songs, as a start. Really powerful songs and vocals. Songs that are deeply personal to me, I understand and relate to the themes of gratitude and time deeply. I believe Zayn relates to them from similar life experiences. Songs I fully believe would have been originally part of the tour. Songs in the context of losing Liam, would be impossible to sing live. Hence the tour including a whole bunch of B sides from the album. 

Grateful

I see your mother’s shine in your eye

I know that you’re mine and I'm cryin'

Tellin' you the things that are on my mind

When I think of you

This is a classic stunt line used to set up the idea the song is about his daughter who he is grateful for. If you pay attention to the third line he is telling things to this person that are on his mind. He is not telling a then 2 or 3 year old all the things on his mind. He is talking about another adult here, his love, his person. He's also not talking about Gigi here, they were broken up when the album was really written, plus he never loved her, remember. The rest of the song is also talking about the ups and downs in life and his relationship. A relationship he's still clearly in, there's no past tense. With that in mind let's revisit the first two lines and how intimate and beautiful they really are. He is telling his person, his love, that their eyes share the same shine as their mother. Ugh my heart. Zayn is the softest, most romantic. That he knows this person is his person in life and knowing he's met his person makes him cry. Cry from happiness and gratitude. And if you believe his person, his love is Liam then this song already just stunning that this is how his love feels to him. Now it's just even more beautiful and gut wrenching and no wonder he couldn't sing it live on tour, even though it's such a sing a long style song and I fully believe he would have intended to sing it on tour. 

Yeah, I'm grateful for you

Love it when the rain comes down

Love it when the waves calm down

Yeah, I'm grateful for you

He is just so content and happy to have found his person in life. The rains can come down on them individually or as a couple, they know they can get through and things always calm down eventually. He is just grateful. Again gut wrenching now. I can barely contemplate how these songs have changed for Zayn. 

These days I live to my depiction

Nowadays I'm findin' no affliction

These days I'm needin' no restriction

Feel like I'm finding new addiction

He is as a person feeling like he can be more of his true self in private and public, perhaps found ways to find peace in his/their closeting and situation. He has less restrictions now without the constant long term beading/pr relationships. He is able to stay publically single with the cover of a child. There is a whole different post somewhere in the future on this. I believe Louis and Zayn were able to make the same negotiation to be single in exchange for father of the year roles. But perhaps their partners had to more heavily stunt in relationships too. We will never know but there is some mirroring between the two couples situations the last 3 years or so especially Zouis. 

And it feels good

And I knew it would

When I'm tellin' this story it's complicated

Some mishaps I've been mournin' but I'm grateful for it

It feels good to write music without it having to be perceived about his public relationships. He can't share all the stories still though, they are too complicated. There are mistakes he regrets but he can still feel gratefulness amongst it all.

Things change and I'm okay with what I'm not

It feels wasteful to be hateful

I'll be grateful for what I got

There has been so much pain in his life. He could choose to be angry and hateful but that feels wasteful. He chooses to reframe and focus on what he has, who he is and be grateful. There is huge maturity and emotional intelligence going on here. 

These days I'm needin' no restriction (For you)

Just as always Zayn finds a subtle sweet way to bring his person, his love into the narrative of the lyrics. These days I'm needing no restrictions for you. For you! Perhaps this refers to no longer needing the restriction of a bearing/pr relationships to cover his for you. He sounds like he feels more free. He's focussed on gratitude. 

The Time

Yesterday just came and went

And if today I wake up late, I won't forgive myself

’Cause time's running its own game

And I've rolled the dice too many times in my head

Huge changes as mentioned in perspective and growth as a person. He is reframing life, he values time, he doesn't want to waste time anymore. He's wasted time in the past being angry, being focussed on pain or other challenges. Its not for him now. Something significant happened that challenged his perspective too.

Never fell for the fame thing

They fell in love with the same things

Let me know when the rain ends

See all I need is you

Ain’t it special? Ain't it precious?

The time that we have

When I'm laid in your bed and you tell me you lovе me

Bringing his person, his love into the story with him, as he ALWAYS has across 4 albums. He and his person never fell for the fame thing. His person is in the industry too. That's pretty clear here, right. He and his person fell in love with the same things. Again seems clear, they both fell in love with music. Music is the thing they love and what they wanted to do in life. Fame came with it but they didn't really want to play that game. I'll fight anyone who can't see this isn't about Liam. Who else, honestly? All he needs is his person, his love. Its the best thing they both got from the fame and music. They got each other, as teenage boys and god damn that really is SO special and precious. So rare and unique. The time they have is everything, it means more than the fame and music and all the bullshit they have had to go through to be together. Time is all that matters, it is everything. When they lay in bed together, when they say I love you, he's making it clear it's an intimate setting, yet so normal and usual for them. Those are the moments that matter most not fame or music.

Colours back in all my days

Build the structure, lеt it break

As long as it's good for your brain

Lessons learned is what I've gained

Feedin' families, forget the fame

I'm doing it now for a second name

His person, his love brings all the colour into his life. I mean beautiful, they bring him joy and happiness. There's also queerness here, a number of closeted artists talk in lyrics about it being grey and searching for colour or the rainbow. He has his rainbow. They've built a life together, structures, a home, routine. Simple life, relationship things. Whatever is good for them, doesn't matter what it is. Its away from the fame. Feeding families, they are a family and they support their own families, these are benefits from the fame, they focus on. Doing it for a second name. Obviously a stunt line, you have to expect them but in context of the song and the rest of it using they to reflect his partner, it can be more true that he's referring to his partners second name.

And I could cry when you tell me that you love me

When you're doing things you shouldn’t be

And I lie for you

And I could cry when you tell me that you love me

And I'd die for you if you asked me to

This bridge, I was crying before Liam passed just the absolute love and devotion that you would die if the person asked you too. And no this line is not about his daughter, his daughter at 2 or 3 is not doing things they shouldn't and him lying for her. There is some insight here for me that perhaps this refers to Liam's addiction issues. That Zayn is fighting for, fighting with his partner, time is everything. They've been close to the edge of life and loss. That's the feeling here for me. And I feel that because I've been going through cancer the last few years, on the edge of my own mortality. Facing that fear. How time is the greatest value in life. How time with my daughter means more than anything. How every second of time spent in the most simplest and intimate ways with her is so fucking precious and special. And when I think of Zayn writing this song and still having Liam after whatever happened on that edge of life. To truly understand the value of time in life, it's a different way of understanding, of knowing when you've truly faced it on the edge of life. That's what I feel in the song, in many parts of the entire album. It resonates so deeply for me. To then lose him afterall. It is devastating. It makes me deeply worried if Zayn can find his way in life without Liam. I hope he can, I hope he can focus in on the same things he focuses on in this album. I hope he can find it in him to write for Liam. I hope the tour gives him something forward focussed. 

[earthtoharlow]

Don’t Like The Lights

Sequel to Flashing Lights series, must read Flashing Lights first to understand

Series Masterlist

3. Still Down

If I put all my faith to you, will you be faithful? Hold me down baby I know that ain't easy to do

“Hi! I’m here a little early…wearing sparkly pants.” Maryse Monet’s message reads like pre-emptive admin before a blind date but, in reality, it’s not necessary: the 25-year-old singer/actress is instantly recognizable and not just to me. As I arrive a young woman approaches her and asks for a selfie. “Your music changed my life.”

Maryse immediately pulled the young woman in a tight embrace and thanked her, making sure the fan knew how much she appreciated it.

We had originally had a reservation booked at a fancy restaurant in New York City. Maryse’ suggested we meet at this charming deli shop out of the state of NY, much to our bewilderment. It was only upon our arrival that we discovered the reason behind her unconventional choice – she had recently made Kentucky her new home.

“New York will always hold a special place in my heart,” she confided. “But now, my heart is in Kentucky. It’s a welcome change of pace.” While not explicitly mentioned, it was evident that her relationship with her rapper Jack Harlow played a significant role in her decision to make the move.

In the wake of her recent Grammy wins, we begin to discuss the impact of her success on her upcoming sophomore album and whether the accolades added pressure to her creative process.

“Winning two Grammys for my debut album was truly surreal and humbling,” Maryse began, her eyes reflecting a mix of gratitude and determination. “While there’s certainly an added level of expectation with each release, I see it more as an opportunity than pressure.”

Maryse went on to explain how the recognition reaffirmed her artistic vision and gave her the courage to push the boundaries even further with her new album. Rather than feeling constrained by expectations, Monet embraced the challenge as a chance to elevate her craft and connect with her audience on a deeper level.

“As an artist, I’m always evolving and exploring new avenues of expression,” she continued, her voice brimming with enthusiasm. “The Grammys serve as a reminder of the impact music can have, and I’m excited to channel that energy into my sophomore album.”

When I asked her how the sophomore album is going, Maryse's eyes began to sparkle as she leaned forward like she was about to tell me a secret. “I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into the writing, exploring new themes and melodies that reflect where I am in life right now.”

“With my debut, I was in this whirlwind romance, and every lyric seemed to overflow with joy and passion,” she recounted with a wistful smile.

While on tour last year it was revealed that she and Jack Harlow had broken up after being together for almost a year.

“This time around I found myself navigating the painful aftermath of a breakup,” she confided, her voice tinged with vulnerability. “What was meant to be a continuation of love songs transformed into a raw exploration of heartbreak.”

She went on to describe how the experience of love and heartbreak had shaped her songwriting. “This album feels like a deeply personal journey,” she explained, her expression thoughtful yet resolute. “This next album will be the breakup album everyone thought they were getting with the first one.”

And what does Jack Harlow think of having break up songs about him?

With a playful grin, Maryse quipped, “Oh, you mean my muse? He’s been incredibly supportive throughout this whole journey.” Chuckling, she added, “He’ll be fine with the heartbreak songs. He knows it’s all part of the process.”

When Maryse isn’t working on music, she’s reading scripts. Fresh off her role as Belle in the live-action adaptation of Beauty and the Beast, she’s now set to appear in the remake of The Color Purple. “Acting is a new challenge for me, but it’s incredibly rewarding,” she said.

Leaving the deli, I felt a profound sense of respect for Maryse Monet. She’s a testament to resilience and creativity, navigating the complexities of love, heartbreak, and success with grace. Her journey from New York to Kentucky, from singer to actor, and from heartbreak to healing is one that inspires and captivates. As she continues to evolve, one thing is certain: the world hasn’t seen the best of Maryse yet.

****

LIFEOFMONET

liked by milaj, dojacat, urbanwyatt, easymoneysniper,jackharlow, torikelly, and 587,567 others

lifeofmonet: Never thought I would be on the cover of vogue 🥺 this means EVERYTHING TO ME I am so grateful and excited for this next chapter…..LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!

view all 6,789 comments

mariahthescienctist: So beautiful!

user: ICONIC

user: we finally getting a break up album!!!!

user: how can someone be so beautiful

saweetie: Yessss💜

user: the confirmation that she’s back with Jack and moved in with him 🥹🥹🥹🥹

urbanwyatt: welcome to Kentucky 😅

user: Jack has a big storm coming

jackharlow: so proud of you 😍

As Maryse walked into the house, she felt a wave of exhaustion run through her. Today at the studio was emotionally taxing and she was happy to finally be home. She kicked her shoes off and placed them on the shoe rack, and let out a sigh of relief.

In the living room, Jack was lounging on the couch flipping through a magazine. As Maryse walked closer she noticed it was the latest issue of Vogue, featuring her on the cover. Jack looked up, a broad smile spreading across his face as their eyes met.

“Hey there, superstar!” He greeted, setting the magazine aside and standing up to hug her. “How was the studio?”

“Tiring, but good,” Maryse replied, melting into his embrace. “What about you? How was your day?”

“Pretty relaxed,” he said, holding her at arm’s length and looking her over. “I spent some time reading this.” Jack gestured to the magazine. “I’m so proud of you, you know that?”

She blushed, feeling a mix of pride and shyness. “You read the whole thing?”

“Every word,” he confirmed, his eyes twinkling with admiration. “It’s a great article. You come across so genuine and talented. They captured you perfectly.”

Maryse laughed softly, shaking her head. “I don’t know about that, but it was a fun interview. And it was kind of nice, meeting at Morris Deli and then walking around the Highlands. Felt more personal.”

He nodded, his expression turning serious. “I loved what you said about New York and Kentucky. ‘New York always has a special place in my heart, but now my heart is in Kentucky.’ That hit home.”

“Well, it’s true,” she replied softly, reaching out to take his hand. “This place, this life we’re starting to build here… it’s special.”

Jack pulled her close again, kissing her forehead. He grinned playfully, “Oh, you really love me, huh?” he teased.

Maryse laughed, feeling her cheeks warm. “Well, you’re pretty special,” she replied, matching his playful tone. “I guess you could say you’re worth the move.”

He chuckled, pulling her even closer. “Worth leaving the big city for small-town life? That’s saying something.”

She nodded, looking up at him with affection. “Yeah, it is. But honestly, being with you feels like home no matter where we are.”

Jack’s expression softened, and he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I feel the same way,” he said quietly. “I was just messing with you. I know how much you’ve given up to be here, and it means the world to me.”

She smiled, her heart full. “It’s not giving up anything when it means being with you. Besides, Kentucky has its charm. I’ve discovered a lot of things I love here.”

He raised an eyebrow, feigning surprise. “Oh, really? Like what?”

Maryse pretended to think for a moment, tapping her chin. “Well, despite all the white people… everyone is friendly, the scenery is beautiful, and there’s this amazing guy I get to come home to every day.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re too much.”

She leaned in, planting a quick kiss on his lips. “And you love it.”

Jack sighed contentedly, pulling her into his lap. “Yeah, I do. More than anything.”

As they continued cuddling on the couch, Maryse couldn’t help but think about how hectic the coming year was going to be. Her schedule was packed with studio sessions, promotional events for the Color Purple.

The excitement of her career’s momentum was tempered by the nagging worry that their busy lives might pull them apart again. She didn’t want a repeat of last year, when their packed schedules had created a wedge between them.

She took a deep breath and snuggled closer to Jack feeling the warmth of his body against hers. “Hey,” she said softly, her voice tinged with hesitation. “Can we talk about something?”

Jack looked down at her, concern etched on his face. “Of course, what’s on your mind?”

She bit her lip, gathering her thoughts, and he gently pulled her lips away with his thumb, stopping her. “Don’t do that,” he murmured. “Talk to me, M.”

Maryse sighed, trying to organize her thoughts. “This year is going to be really busy for me. Probably even busier than last year. And while I’m excited about everything, I’m also worried. You know how things got between us when we were both so busy.”

He nodded “Yeah, I remember. It was tough.”

“I don’t want that to happen again,” she continued, Maryse’s voice barely above a whisper. “I know this year is supposed to be your reset year, and I don’t want to mess that up for you. I just… I don’t want us to drift apart.”

Jack pulled her closer, his grip tightening protectively. “Hey, we’re not going to let that happen again. We’ve learned a lot from last year. We’ll make time for each other, no matter what.”

She sighed, feeling a bit more reassured but still worried. “I know, but it’s hard. We both have so much going on. I just don’t want us to become strangers living in the same house.”

He lifted her chin, making her look into his eyes. “Listen to me. You’re the most important thing in my life. We’ll figure it out. If it means rearranging my schedule to be with you, I’ll do it. This reset year isn’t just about my career; it’s about us too. And I’m not going to lose you again.”

Maryse smiled, feeling a tear escape and roll down her cheek. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

Jack wiped the tear away with his thumb and kissed her gently. “We’re a team, remember? We’ll face this together.”

Maryse nodded and was quiet before a thought popped in her mind. “Maybe we should go on vacation before it gets too busy.”

He grinned, his eyes lighting up at the idea. “That sounds perfect. I haven’t been on a real vacation in years. Any place in mind?”

She thought for a moment, then said, “Somewhere quiet and relaxing. Maybe a beach? We could use some sun and sand.”

“That sounds amazing,” Jack agreed. “A chance to unwind and just be with each other.”

She nodded, feeling a surge of excitement at the thought. “Yeah, just us, away from everything. We need that.”

Jack kissed her forehead, a look of determination in his eyes. “Let’s make it happen. I’ll handle all the planning. You just pack your bags.”

“Just so you know,” Jack said, a playful smirk on his face, “I’m probably gonna burn in the sun while you get a nice tan.”

Maryse laughed, playfully nudging him. “I’ll make sure to bring plenty of sunscreen for you, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, shaking his head with a chuckle. “I’m serious though. I turn into a lobster if I’m out in the sun too long.”

She grinned, loving the banter. “Guess I’ll just have to keep you in the shade then. Or maybe we can alternate between sunbathing and hiding under an umbrella.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said, pulling her closer. “As long as I get to spend time with you, I don’t care where we are or what we do.”

She smiled, feeling a wave of warmth and love. “Same here. I just want us to have some time to relax and enjoy each other’s company.”

He kissed her gently, his eyes filled with affection. “It’s a date then. We’ll escape to the beach and have the best time ever.”

She nodded, her heart full. “I can’t wait. It’ll be perfect.”

“I’m thinking we hit up a nude beach,” Jack teased, not being able to hide the mischievous grin spreading across his face.

Maryse couldn’t help but gasp and playfully hit his arm. “You’re unbelievable!”

Jack laughed, enjoying her reaction he leaned in, stealing a quick kiss. “What? It could be fun! Totally freeing, you know?” He pecked her lips again, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

She shook her head, giggling. “I don’t think so. The only person who gets to see me like that is you.”

“You damn right!,” he said, still chuckling before he kissed her again, softer this time. “But you have to admit, it would’ve made for an interesting vacation story.” Another kiss.

“Sure,” Maryse replied, rolling her eyes with a smile as he kissed her again. “Maybe in an alternate universe.”

He laughed and continued to steal kisses between words. “Alright, no nude beaches,” he said, punctuating each word with a quick peck. “But seriously, anywhere with you is perfect.”

She smiled, her heart swelling with love. “Just us, no phones, no work.”

“Deal,” he said, kissing her forehead, finally giving her lips a break. “It’s going to be amazing.”

Jack then smiled, pulling her closer. “Alright, no more yapping. Let’s go cuddle.”

He stood up and offered his hand, helping her off the couch. She took it with a tired smile, leaning into him as they walked to the bedroom, hand in hand.

Once they were under the covers, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. The warmth of his body against hers was comforting, a feeling she had missed during their time apart. She rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

“Goodnight, M.” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. His voice was soft, filled with affection and relief that they were together again.

Maryse snuggled deeper into his embrace, feeling safe and content. “Goodnight, Jack. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied softly.

As they lay there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the world outside faded away, leaving just the two of them in their cozy little bubble. The tension and worries of the day melted away, replaced by a profound sense of peace.

Maryse laid still for a moment, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing. Then, unable to resist, she gently poked him in the side.

“Are you asleep?” she whispered, her voice barely audible in the quiet room.

Jack groaned softly, opening one eye. “Well, I was,” he teased, a sleepy smile tugging at his lips. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing, I’m just so glad we’re together again,” she whispered, her voice barely audible as sleep began to overtake her.

“Me too,” Jack whispered back, watching her as her breathing evened out and she drifted off to sleep. He stayed awake a little longer, his mind drifting over the events of the past year and the journey that had brought them back to each other, but none of that mattered anymore as Maryse was finally back snuggled underneath him.

He kissed the top of her head, a smile playing on his lips as he closed his eyes. The familiar rhythm of her breathing, the way she fit perfectly against him—it was all he needed to feel at peace. For the first time in months, he felt truly at home.

As sleep began to claim him, he held onto the thought of how lucky he was to have her back in his arms. No matter how busy their lives might get, this was what mattered most: the love they shared and the promise to face everything together.

And with that comforting thought, he finally drifted off to sleep, happier than he’d been in a long time.

*****

AN: little filler chapter! next chapter is when the real fun begins and they go on vacation :) let me know your thoughtsssss

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[neouime]

Love Wins All: An Analysis

Here are my notes for the music video. I have more to say, but it's already two in the morning where I live, and I have been sitting here admiring and contemplating IU's artistry since four hours ago. My butt hurts. I will come here later once I let my thoughts marinate.

There's a cube object chasing after them. - The cube is obviously the antagonist of the story. I have no idea why they chose a cube rather than any other creature or shape. Maybe because the design is simple? I think a cube is a smart choice. It looks like human technology, something man-made. The cube may be an invention that was once intended for the benefit of humankind but ended up becoming an instrument for control. The shape of the cube with its equal sides can represent a system that demands conformity.

IU is mute/deaf (she uses sign language), and Taehyung is blind in one eye. - There is one reading by a Korean UAENA about how they represent people with disabilities. There is one cube targeting IU and Taehyung. No other people are shown, but by the end of the music video, we can see several floating cubes outside the building. We can deduce how the cubes may be specifically searching for individuals like them who are marginalized and in hiding.

There is a scene where IU performs on stage, and black figures point their fingers at her. - IU explicitly declared that the song is dedicated to her loved ones, including her fans. We can interpret the black figures as representing people who spread unnecessary hate (혐오) against artists like IU. (Regardless of context, pointing your fingers in Korean culture is considered rude. It is associated with assigning blame or picking out flaws.)

Both the cube and the people in black are forces that persecute and discriminate, respectively. - This reading stems from the fact that IU is a well-known personality in real life and that her character in the story has disabilities.

While there is a male and female lead, the story and the song are not exclusively romantic. LWA is a fan song. Taehyung represents UAENAs. 

While IU sings on stage, he gives her flowers and looks at her adoringly. - They are able to spend moments both happy and sad by each other's side. At the end of the story, Taehyung stands in front of IU to defend her from the cube and destroy it, while IU comforts him and covers his eyes as they're killed.

The camera and the pile of clothes are details prompting an intertextual reading. - This will be familiar to ARMY, but the pile of clothes is an installation by Christian Boltanski. This does not require further explanation since we can infer what it symbolizes from the story's outcome. On the other hand, the camera is something that is more important to the plot than it seems. It captures only the beautiful and healthy appearance of IU and Taehyung. The Korean UAENA I mentioned earlier said that the camera shows an existence where people with disabilities can live happily. 

The camera shuts down by the end of the music video. - Nothing is recorded, and the memories are lost. But then, how does "love win all?" Okay, we'll look at the lyrics. "찬찬히 너를 두 눈에 담아 한 번 더 편안히 웃어주렴 (With my eyes, I memorize you thoroughly. Let's laugh in peace once more.)

Artists like IU come and go. - For every single and album she releases, IU writes an introduction. For LWA, she sums up the story as a promise to "fade away together splendidly." Also, the lyrics "필연에게서 도망쳐 Run on" appear, which both mean to run away from (도망쳐, to escape) and to run towards the "inevitable." (Korean is not my first language so pardon me if I'm wrong, but I think there's a mistake with the translation provided in the music video. There, the lyrics say "run away from necessity, run on." They use the word necessity, but she's referring to an event that is certain to occur.)

Memories [of their music and their moments with fans] are all lost to history; what matters is to live in the moment. (You don't need a camera to prove that you existed and lived your life.) This aligns with her values as an artist. In her interviews, IU says her goal is to perform (creation rather than chart success).

You may say that the story is tragic because they both die in the end, but they were at peace since they were together. "일부러 나란히 길 잃은 우리 두 사람" (The two of us, side by side, gone astray on purpose). **Edit: IU Team StarCandy on Twitter translated the phrase 길 잃은 우리 as "[we] who took the road less travelled."

I love the lines "너와 슬퍼지고 싶어 My lover" (I want to be sad with you) and "부서지도록 나를 꼭 안아" (Crush me, wrap me tightly in your arms). It illustrates the relationship between IU as an artist and her fans. The song is a declaration of her intention to cherish the good and bad with us. She does not mind even if the pressure of our love sometimes feels intense. She believes love has the power to break you down, but instead, it builds you up. 

Additionally, the line "나와 함께 겁 없이," which is translated as "Will you courageously set with me?" actually more literally translates to "together with me, without fear." There is trust between IU and her lover. In other words, they may not know where the journey leads them, but they consciously choose to walk to it together.

A few more details from the music video that I loved are as follows. I like that the food (the macaron) is connected to memory and joy. It's the end of the world, but they haven't lost their imagination, hope, and ability to delight in each other's presence. In a way, food is crucial to survival in terms of sustenance and because it brings simple pleasure.

After taking a bite, they are transported to a less dreary setting. Their clothes are the same, but they're no longer tattered. Of course, things aren't perfect because while things are more clean, the people themselves remain evil. IU and Taehyung maintain their cheerful disposition even as the black figures appear and surround them.

IU and Taehyung choose to be happy. They dress up and dance around the room despite the reality that everything is still in ruins. (The photo booth is lit in bright, warm colors, while the room outside is cold and blue. Another piece of evidence for this interpretation is that while they're blissfully taking pictures, the strips come out showing Taehyung's milky eyes.)

I also like the alternative explanation for why IU is deaf, and Taehyung is partially blind. - IU performs happily in front of the crowd of black figures. It may mean that she either cannot hear or will not listen to their words of hate. As for Taehyung, he is partially blind to IU's faults. IU (the idol/artist) is the one leading them as they run while Taehyung (their fan) follows, their hands clasped in each other.

Moreover, neither of them speaks throughout the story. Whether IU is deaf or she signs to avoid making noise and risk their capture, I think it's beautiful that they can communicate through gestures. The relationship between fan and artist goes beyond the need for words (which is ironic, too, since we become fans of IU's music before the artist herself. Through her lyrics, we learn of her personality and how she sees the world).

I LOVE their acting. It's almost scarily good how IU can convey her love through her gaze. The smallest details too!! Her softly tapping Taehyung's shoulder to calm him while he tightly grips her hand as they face death? Chills.

Okay, I'm back. I just want to add this:

I said that the song is not exclusively romantic. However, the element of romance is indeed important to the plot. It elevates the story by depicting people (including those with disabilities) finding love even in the middle of hardship. - Their hardship is not the disability itself but rather the prejudices in the world that limit the possibilities they can enjoy.

IU and Taehyung know that the "end" is "inevitable" (she uses both words in her lyrics), and they know that they can only steal these short moments of happiness, but they still try to "look for the opposite of loneliness" (오랜 외로움 그 반대말을 찾아서).

Trivia: IU says that whenever she's stuck with writing a song, she uses the suggestion of a peer (Kim Eana) to look up the meaning of a word in the dictionary. Thus, giving birth to the idea love = opposite of feeling/being alone.

Love as an act of resistance - Viewing a brighter world through the camera, IU wearing the veil, and the pair teasing the black figures (IU sings on the stage despite their jeering and they run around the room) are acts of resistance. They may have a poor imagination (가난한 상상력), wherein they still desire to become "normal" and without their disabilities, but it is also thanks to their imagination that they are able to endure.

Note: The translations are mine. It's always difficult to think of how to word sentences that fully preserve the sentiment of the source, especially since they're song lyrics.

[kookienooki]

Melodies of Seduction | Ch. 3

❀ summary: With platinum albums and millions of adoring fans, Yeon-jin thought she knew exactly where her music career was headed. But when her manager drops an unexpected bombshell—BTS' golden maknae Jungkook wants to collaborate on an R&B album—her carefully planned world spins into beautiful chaos.

Between late-night recording sessions, stolen glances across the studio, and harmonies that seem to sync with more than just their voices, Yeon-jin finds herself composing a different kind of song altogether. One that could either launch her to new heights of stardom or leave her heart in free fall.

The question is: in an industry where every move is scrutinized and romance is taboo, can two of K-pop's brightest stars risk it all for a love that wasn't part of the production plan?

❀ pairing : idol!Jungkook x idol!oc

❀ genre: idol AU, romance, angst, fluff, eventual smut, im not sure what else

❀ rating: 18+

❀ word count: 782

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Chapter 3: Creative Spark

Their first official writing session started awkwardly. Yeon-jin arrived at her studio early, meticulously arranging everything—fresh notebooks, sharpened pencils, and her favorite tea set from Jeju. The morning sun filled the space with warm light, but she still felt nervous energy coursing through her veins.

Jungkook arrived precisely on time, carrying his own notebook and a guitar case. He'd dressed down today in ripped jeans and an oversized hoodie, his hair slightly damp as if he'd just finished working out. The casual attire somehow made him more intimidating—this was Jungkook the artist, not the polished idol from their first meeting.

"I brought some ideas," he said, pulling out his phone. "Just some rough melodies I recorded last night. Couldn't sleep."

They sat at opposite ends of her grand piano, both seemingly unsure how to bridge the gap between professional courtesy and creative intimacy. Yeon-jin had collaborated with dozens of artists over her career, but this felt different. There was more at stake.

"Should we start with structure?" she suggested, falling back on her training. "Figure out what kind of sound we're aiming for?"

Jungkook nodded, but she could see the slight tension in his shoulders. They were both overthinking it, trying too hard to be perfect. The conversation felt stilted and technical. They discussed time signatures and key changes, but the spark from their first meeting seemed to have dimmed.

Then, almost unconsciously, Jungkook started humming a melody while she was talking about chord progressions. It was something haunting and beautiful that made her heart catch. Without thinking, Yeon-jin found herself harmonizing, her voice finding spaces in his melody that seemed to have been waiting for her.

His eyes widened, and he quickly reached for his phone to record. "That's it," he said excitedly. "That's the bridge we've been looking for."

The ice broken, creativity began to flow. Yeon-jin moved to her production setup, quickly laying down a basic beat while Jungkook worked out guitar parts. They traded lyrics back and forth, mixing Korean and English, finding ways to tell their story through both languages.

Hours slipped by as they worked. When hunger struck, they ordered jjajangmyeon from the place around the corner, eating cross-legged on the studio floor while discussing musical influences. Jungkook told her about learning to play guitar during BTS's early days, practicing in bathroom stalls to avoid disturbing his members. Yeon-jin shared stories about her pansori training, and how her grandmother would make her practice projecting her voice at the ocean.

"That explains so much about your breath control," Jungkook said, genuinely fascinated. "Would you teach me some techniques sometime?"

The request surprised her. "You want to learn pansori?"

"I want to learn everything," he replied with disarming honesty. "Every type of music has something to teach us, right?"

As the sun set, they had the bones of three songs and dozens of voice memos filled with ideas. Na Ra knocked on the door at midnight, concern evident on her face.

"We lost track of time," Yeon-jin explained, suddenly aware of how close she and Jungkook had moved during their last recording session, both huddled around the microphone.

As they packed up their things, their hands brushed reaching for the same notebook. The touch lasted only a second, but the electricity lingered. Yeon-jin pulled back quickly, dropping her pencil in the process. They both reached for it at the same time, laughing awkwardly.

"Keep it," Jungkook said softly. "It's got good luck now. Look what we created today."

She tucked the pencil into her bag, trying to ignore the way her fingers tingled where they had touched his. "Same time tomorrow?"

"I have dance practice in the morning, but I can be here by two?" There was something hopeful in his voice that made her heart flutter.

"Two is perfect. I'll have the haegeum player's samples by then."

Na Ra cleared her throat pointedly from the doorway, and they finally moved to leave. In the elevator, Yeon-jin caught her reflection in the mirrored walls. Her carefully styled hair had come undone, and her expensive blouse was wrinkled from hours of work, but her eyes were bright with creative energy.

"You two work well together," Na Ra observed carefully as they walked to their car.

"The music just flows naturally," Yeon-jin replied, trying to keep her voice neutral. "It's rare to find that kind of creative chemistry."

Na Ra gave her a knowing look but said nothing more. As their car pulled away, Yeon-jin saw Jungkook still standing at the building's entrance, typing something on his phone. Moments later, her phone buzzed.

"Already missing our harmony. See you tomorrow."

She smiled all the way home.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。✯¸.•'*¨'*•✿(◕‿◕)✿ •*'¨*'•.¸✯❀。• *₊°。 ❀° ❀

A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying my book so far 😅

I'm trying to make these chapters longer so hopefully, this next chapter is. no promises tho.

Comment if you would like to be added to the tag list!

[applethieves]

Comparing 'Eusexua' and 'Perverts': Sex, God, Numbness, and Possession.

When both FKA twigs and Ethel Cain announced albums releasing in January last autumn, I (like every other teenage girl interested in "alternative" music) was incredibly excited. And from the offset of their matching release timelines, It felt like there was some kind of accidental synergy between the the two. I originally expected a kind of "barbenheimer" situation - If you'll forgive the incredibly corny term. But after listening to both projects obsessively, I find the two unexpectedly similar, with themes and styles that aren't worlds away from each other. As if they were two sides of the same unexpected coin.

Before the release of "Perverts", Ethel Cain put a great emphasis on the lyric "it's happening to everybody." which appears in the opening song. What the "it" is, remains somewhat ambiguous and open for the listener to conclude themselves. But (at least how I see it) it is some un-place-able but inevitable, overwhelming feeling, relating perversion, death, sex, god, loneliness, vast abyss that we all experience. something paradoxically familiar and romantic, whilst being sickeningly dark. Maybe death itself. That "it" compared to the concept of "eusexua" that FKA twigs writes about, a mix of euphoria and sexuality, what she described as; “that feeling when you’ve been dancing all night and you lose seven hours to music... If you meet somebody that you really like, and you just kiss all night, and you kiss for all hours. You lose time... It’s because of a state of eusexua,” It would seem both artists aim to but into words an overwhelming state of mind, for better or for worse, one focused on sexuality, and unconventional affiliation with god.

Even the phrasing of the video FKA twigs put out before the release of the album; "HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED EUSEXUA?" feels similar to the phrasing of "its happening to everybody." It is almost like "eusexua" and "it" both refer to a trance-like high. from a different perspective.

There's a lot of parallels I find between the albums, the repetition of "It feels good." at the end of "Onanist", and the continued repetition of "It feels nice." on "Room of Fools". both of which refer vaguely to a concept of love.

The dominant instrumentals, which are incredibly different, but they are not exclusive. The spacey, electronic fluttering on "Eusexua" seems like a sister to the long, lingering drone noises on "Perverts". I kind of feel if you slowed down an instrumental from "Eusexua", you'd get something a bit similar to the whirrs of "Perverts."

One track I'd particularly like to mention is track 3 of "Eusexua": "Perfect Stranger" in relation to "Vacillator" on "Perverts. "Perfect Stranger" talks about the want for sex with no emotional connection. Not knowing, and not wanting to know, who the other person is at any other point except for right now: "You're beautiful, you're worth it, you're the best, and you deserve it, you're a stranger, so your perfect. I love the danger. You're the perfect stranger." Which sounds maybe more desperate than sexy without the fun club beat and playful delivery it's usually accompanied with. Alone, it sounds closer to the lyrics on "Vacillator" which speaks of a perverse and non-emotional connection to sex. repeating: "if you love me keep it to yourself." for the final minutes of the song. after lines like "I could make you cum 20 times a day." I almost feel "Vacillator" speaks to the same feeling of "Perfect stranger, on a more depressing day. Without the inclusion of the energetic celestial production to make it fun. "Vacillator" is instead confrontationally stripped back. Allowing Ethel Cain's haunting vocals to address you personally. My final mention is "Keep it, Hold it" one of my favourites on "Eusexua". Which admits a more depressing reality than the other songs. Lyrics like : "Sometimes I feel so empty where I lay. And at best I live alone in disarray" would be just at home on an Ethel Cain track. As the song goes on, FKA twigs eventually ends up almost wailing out the lyrics "Sometimes I feel like I'm not even trying" over the sudden introduction of a high tempo, almost techno-ish beat. Obviously, ending in a different conclusion, but not so dissimilar to the way Ethel Cain often composes songs to explode at the end with sudden heavy instruments over an emotionally charged closing lyric, as such on "Onanist", when a huge and heavy distorted electric guitar chord echoes over the crying out of "I want to know love."

If "Eusexua" refers to a state of mind similar to the celestial, "Perverts" refers to the vast expanse of space that surrounds it. The two feelings don't exist without the other, they intrinsically linked. I feel Perverts is the feeling that lies beneath Eusexua. The low hum of the earth underneath the spacey fluttering.

and I'm obsessed with both.

[surrealisticduvet]

Album Review: And the Hits Just Keep on Comin’ (1972)

With a title that snarkily alludes to his record company’s demand for hits, which he had not been producing, this album somehow manages to be deeply personal - to me and to Michael. From the liner notes:

“One of the great advantages of being an artist is that I am able to utilize my craft periodically to write messages to myself. Basically that it what this album is all about. I have tried to be as skillful as I could in the hopes that you as a listener would not feel left out. I have tried to make music as honest and beautiful, as harmonious and graceful, as I know how to make music ... But I am afraid that I must admit, and somewhat unabashedly, that I did it for me. I hope that on whatever level of unfoldment this music may find you that it will reward your attention and contribute something to your consciousness. I personally enjoy singing along to it all... But then it's very easy for me. I know all the words. Papa Nes.”

Not only is this album very beautiful and graceful musically, it is deeply sensitive, touching, and introspective. With the base album clocking in at just over 30 minutes, I suggest you just give it a listen yourself in order to really see what I mean. 

(and the review just keeps on comin' - below the cut!)

Favorite parts of the album:

In conjunction with the points mentioned above, perhaps the dearest part of this album to me is the fact that he did not cave and try to write a hit by assembling a third instance of the National Band which would have probably been fairly mediocre, or quit music altogether (he was under a contract, but so was he during the Monkees, and he was willing to pay a very high price to quit that one.) Instead, he whittled down his lineup to just himself on guitar and Red on pedal steel and recorded ten very simple but perfect songs. Even with the inclusion of the hit “Different Drum” this album did not make any waves during its time - such was the extent of Michael’s dedication to his craft, that he was not afraid (although he could certainly be frustrated and cynical) to put out a quality work that was at best unappreciated and at worst overshadowed by a poor copy. Personal favorites off of this album are “Tomorrow & Me,” “Harmony Constant,” “Roll With the Flow,” and the instrumental and initially unreleased “Cantata and Fugue in C&W” (which you may recognize from the background of a few Headquarters Sessions tracks) which I find to be a very soothing and almost nostalgic ending to the full album with all of its bonus tracks. One last note - every time Michael says “Go, Red” before a pedal steel solo, an angel gets its wings! 

Critiques:

If there is a weak link to this album, or a song that seems out of place, it is probably “The Candidate” - it’s a perfectly good song in its own right, but its cynical lyrics and darker tone might have been better suited for an album like Nevada Fighter or Tantamount to Treason. Finally, “Listening” is one of the few times that his poetic lyrics do not translate particularly well to the format of a song - the timing can be a bit awkward or forced at times. That being said, Red saves the track with a trippy sort of melting-chord pedal steel backing, so it retains its place on my no-skip list.

Conclusion:

Michael himself seems to know this album was one of his best, as he usually played several songs off of it when doing shows in the ‘90s, and he even did a reprisal tour in 2019 highlighting the full album. There’s something very special about seeing him perform these songs decades after they were written; you can see that he still stands by the words, and I hope wherever he is now he knows that I do indeed enjoy singing along to all of them too.

[scarletdreamers]

A few months ago I had the pleasure of meeting Patrick Watson (Je te laisserai des mots), He gave me advice that I'm convinced the whole artistic world should hear sometime.

So a while ago my best friend and I attented one of his small, more local and intimate concerts in Amsterdam. As we sit around and wait for our ride home my friend turns her head and whispers to me ''wait, that's him, right?''

Patrick just came walking out of the dressing room, like he was attending his own concert, blending right in with the thin crowd that was still left in the hall. My friend was working on her own album of music at the time (a school project I was helping her with), and had difficulties when it came to writing the lyrics. She lacked inspiration. So she said ''should I ask him?'' and within a moment we were engaged in a conversation with Patrick Watson.

She asked him how he came up with his songs and lyrics (which are very beautiful and original). He started emptying his pockets and putting everything on the table. Cigarettes, lighter, little notes with scribbles in English and French, some other random things. When he was done putting everything he had on him on the table he explained to us:

''What you're going to do is look around. You look at the world and everything around you and collect little things that catch your eye and put them in your pocket. Scenes, people, colours, sound, words, you shove them all into your pocket. You can even literally write it on a note and take it with you.'' He said, pointing at his own wrinkled and ripped pieces of paper. ''When you get home, you empty your entire pocket out on the table, look at what you've got. There's gonna be a theme. When you puzzle it together, mess a little with the words, boom, you have a song.''

He told us indirectly, as artists no matter of what kind, music, poetry, writers, painters, that art is about noticing. It's about finding little inspirations and hidden beauty in daily life and building your art on a fundament of those loose fragments. Don't focus on big themes like love or grief or fear and work from there, don't try to convey the feeling directly. Focus on little things that you associate with such themes, that inspire such themes, but let the big words remain in the background. Let them be a theme floating over the words instead of being woven through them. Art is original when it comes from experience. From an artist's way of noticing, their way of seeing, and their way of feeling. A specific reference, an intriguing landscape or weather condition or a story about how you saw a person that really moved something in you on your way home from work is far more interesting to tell than hearing the same heavy-theme sentences being used over and over.

The art of noticing is the most delicate and special artform we humans have been given. Everything can be an inspiration, all you have to do is put it in your pocket and come back to it later.

Thank you, Sir Watson, for reminding me and my friend of this.

[fleshsigil]

the sky may be - review

//content warning: discussion of depression/dysphoria/mental illness

"The sky may be Behind all the clouds; But there are only clouds And there will only be clouds - forever"

the sky may be might be one of the most utterly harrowing, powerful and beautiful things i've ever listened to. i don't rate music with numbers because that's stupid, but this is solidly one of the most impactful pieces of music i've heard in years. the sky may be is an 8-song album from renowned noise artist xandra metcalfe, a.k.a uboa, self-released in 2018.

i wondered if it was even worth reviewing this album in the first place. the anger and desperation and agony present in its ~30min runtime is almost hard to put into words, and the content is so raw and personal, but it had so much of an impact on me that i really wanted to give it credit where credit was due. the majority of the album contains these breakdowns of crackling, deafening digital and mechanical harsh noise interspersed with choirs and gorgeous, rich ambience. in terms of vocals, they range from gut-punching, deadpan spoken word deliveries to nearly incomprehensible screaming.

listening to the sky may be is incredibly cathartic for me, as someone who really struggles with a lot of the same things xandra touches on, and there's no doubt that nothing can be compared to the pure, unrelenting anguish present on this album. i don't think any music i've ever heard has even come close to portraying this kind of feeling. i don't think this can be lumped in as "sad music" when it's undoubtedly in a class of its own. nothing can compare to the display of raw emotion that happens here. it is deafening, unrelentingly bleak, euphorically crushing. the lyrical content details self-hatred, isolation, deep depression, and the anger that stems from mental illness in a way that only someone who has experienced them can write and perform. i don't know if what i've experienced and am experiencing is on the same level as xandra's experiences, but i feel like i can empathize with this kind of music on a deeper level than anything else. the frantic screaming, the explosions of digital glitching and cacophonic noise, the soul-crushing depth, the moments of quiet, pained soliloquy convey these specific emotions in such an immediate and boundlessly effective way; i've listened to this album countless times, purely because nothing else is able to match the intensity and type of emotions i'm feeling. it's beautiful. it hurts. it oozes overwhelming darkness with brief glimmers of hope. it feels like how depression feels. i love it dearly and hate it with my whole heart at the same time.

despite how personal this album is, i'm infinitely grateful that xandra released it so that people in a similar situation had a source of catharsis and something to relate to, to cling to, in a sea of otherwise unrelenting darkness. this album has had such an impact on my life, and i hope that the people who need it will find this album somehow, through this review or otherwise.

thank you, uboa.

LINKS TO ALBUM ON SPOTIFY AND BANDCAMP BELOW

(i post music recommendations sometimes, if you want more of that kind of thing, you should follow me)

(PS: i will try to do a happier album that's not about crushing depression for the next review)

[amemenojaku]

quick write-up on Q by Diao Ye Zong after a full listen of the album + the bonus content

(spoilers: it's really good. buy it)

I've skipped some of DYZ's releases in the last few years like Shirushi/Mukui/Atsume out of lack of interest, so it's very possible that I missed a hidden gem, but anyway I think Q is their best recent work. It's as good as Hohuri or △ imo (and Hohuri is like. my favorite DYZ and favorite doujin music album overall so.)

Agatha ChrisQ suddenly and completely disappears, shrouded in as much mystery as when she started releasing novels. The narrator sets out in search of the truth through 6 of ChrisQ's unpublished murder mysteries, each a reflection of their writer's feelings.

Q is a seed // Q is an outcome - Waiting to germinate into fantasy // Imposing the results of your ego on all.

It is, of course, a must-listen (or must-experience, rather, since it's not limited to music) for any Akyuu fan, but I'd also recommend it to fans of DiPP, Umineko specifically but mystery novels in general, and interactive fiction (there's branching endings). Oh and yuri. Akyuu/Kosuzu has been a fairly recurring pair in DYZ works (I can think of at least 5 songs off the top of my head, that's recurring to me lol) and this is no exception.

The album is gorgeous, jewel case and booklet and everything, all B&W with beautiful arabesques and elegant lettering and the occasional lines written in red. Hanadahyou's art is even more gorgeous than usual in the lyrics booklet (and if you've ever looked at a DYZ album you know the booklet is part of the experience)!! I love the small detail of the page with Akyuu's portrait, not the one with ChrisQ's, touching the page with the picture of Kosuzu and Akyuu as children...

The tracks are very good, pleasant to listen to from beginning to end (in my case there's just one I have a problem with because of the singer's voice... T_T lol). If I had to pick just one it'd be the Kosuzu song, Imaginary Friend (spoilers in the translator's notes), obviously everything in it makes me want to cry and scream and bash my head into a wall but ESPECIALLY the line where 'it was love at first sight' and 'I set upon you all my fantasies' are both said at the same time in the most beautiful wordplay I've seen in a while.. I also really like the Hieda servants' song (Murasaki Hotaru's voice <3) and the Reimu song is super fun (there is no way Reimu holding a knife next to Marisa's body in the booklet art isn't a nod to the reimari songs from Hohuri - and with the Birlstone Gambit theory referenced in the song itself, well...). But even then all the other tracks are interesting too. Very solid album.

And then there's the secret bonus content. I will only say that I love both choices very much but Imaginary Friend -> My Beloved Q did permanent damage to my heart <3 <3 <3 (suffering

ANYWAY, if any of this sounded intriguing to you then Q is absolutely worth the money! So go support the artists!! The regular version without the secret content will probably end up for free on spotify at some point (edit: it is now, including the last two secret tracks), but in my humble opinion it's one of those DYZ albums that are 1000% better if experienced with a real hardcopy of the CD because of how high-quality the product is, the gorgeous art, the bonus content etc... Personally I am never getting rid of my copy it's just SO beautiful.

[libraryledge]

Consider The Whole Story (A Commentary On Fandom)

If you tell someone that you are a fangirl or fanboy, they might give you an odd look because of the connotation of being nerdy or obsessive. As a self-proclaimed fangirl of many topics, I can tell you with certainty there is more than meets the eye. I was a shy girl who found comfort in the Wizarding World and can vouch for people who, like myself, use their love for their favorite films, shows, and music to face the mental and physical battles of their own world.

When I stumbled across the Harry Potter books on a rainy day in middle school, what attracted me the most was not the spells and potions, but the camaraderie of the Golden Trio. As someone whose family moved regularly, making friends was difficult, but reading about how Harry, Ron, and Hermione treated each other as equals and supported one another’s ambitions gave me hope to find friends of my own. Truthfully, I spent many lonely lunch hours reading the books and eventually discovered the joy of fanfiction (#romioneforever XD). However, being part of this community was a beautiful experience because I eventually met people who also found joy in the adventures of misfit wizards and pushed me to write original stories that I dream of publishing someday. 

This story isn’t unique to myself however because I know people who have used their involvement in their fandom to build their identity. A childhood friend of mine was obsessed with animation and shows like Phineas and Ferb (something we had in common). Truthfully, for sixth graders who are trying to be cool this might not be the key to being popular. However, he was always drawing and had his mind set on becoming an animator. I am proud to say that now, he has worked as a graphic designer for well known music artists and is striving to share his art with a larger audience, something that he told Swampy Marsh, the co creator of Phineas and Ferb, when he met him in person.

Perhaps the love of fandom is inherited because a story that highly resonates with me is from my aunt who used fandom to help her overcome the darkest period in her life. As a young adult, she was diagnosed with anxiety. There were days when it was difficult to get out of bed, but the one thing that kept her company was the music of her favorite singer. Her lyrics spoke to my aunt and helped her clear her mind when it felt as if it might burst. One day, she heard on the radio that the singer was going to be at an album signing about 20 minutes away from her. Mind you, my aunt hadn’t driven very far in a significant period of time, but she knew she couldn’t let that opportunity pass. To this day, she tells me the story of how she drove on the busy highway and was one of the first in line to get her CD signed, something that she treasures to this day. 

Fandom may be scoffed upon by those who don’t understand that it isn’t solely about cosplay and conventions. While these elements are fantastic, there is more to it. People scoff at the boy who knows Taylor Swift lyrics by heart, but they don’t know that those songs helped him cope with a difficult family life. They laugh at the girl who treasures Pokemon cards, but perhaps those cards were a gift from someone she lost. Others tease adults who watch Steven Universe, but they do not understand that this show helped them feel seen as a queer person. Fandom has the power to impact people’s lives. There are many published authors who started off as fanfiction writers and reporters whose first exposure to media management was running online fan accounts. Everyone’s experience is different, so before judging someone’s passion or dismissing it as nonsense, remember to consider the whole story. After all, fandom is not a weakness. It is our strength.

[juvenilefrogg]

HOT TAKE!!

I don't expect everyone to understand me or relate to this but just because someone likes Harry Potter doesn't mean they're not allies. It's not a facade if someone is a Potterhead and still claims to be an ally.

A lot of people believe in "separate art from the artist". The famous painter Pablo Picasso was such a great artist, widely known for the cubist movement. You may also know about his blue period and might pity him. But then again Picasso as a person has done very questionable things. He is known to have treated women poorly and had many affairs throughout his life.

Now just because he was a great artist doesn't mean he is not accountable for his poor actions and choices but his actions surely do not make him a bad artist. I can accept that he is a bad person and yet still admit that he was a great artist.

Legendary singer, songwriter and lyrical genius John Lennon is well known in the music industry. Surely we all have listened to his songs at least once. The legendary rock band The Beatles gave us so many bangers.

Beautiful Boy by John Lennon is one of the songs that I adore so much. I just love the showcase of the fraternal love in that song. But when you dig up the history of that song you find that it was written for Sean Lennon (child of John Lennon and Yoko Ono). It is not about Julian Lennon (child of John Lennon from his first wife, Cynthia Lennon). Now it just breaks my heart to think about this from Julian's pov. To have a dad who left your mom and then goes ahead to write a song about his other child with his 2nd wife. Don't get me wrong I'd be furious I'd be going crazy.

But oh to have a dad who'd love me enough to write such a song for me ahhhh I'd give up anything just to have that experience. From Sean's pov I'd be so in love with this song.

Now I am not justifying and romanticising what he did but how do I close my ears, shut my eyes, and turn my back on such a beautiful art? To say that there are plenty of other and far better songs and things to admire why do I have to stick to this particular song or thing is not fair. It is not fair to me as an admirer. You can't quantify my love. I can't transfer my love from one thing to another in an instant. Though it may die or fade away with time until then you'd just have to let me be. The heart wants what it wants.

Recently, Ariana Grande released her latest album, Eternal Sunshine, I am sure most of you already know about it and have listened to it. It's a hit you can't deny that. But when you get to know the story behind that album, the songs and whom they're written about and what they mean, you might want to cancel Ariana. And sure if you want to do that go ahead you're free to do that. But that doesn't mean everyone will. One can still like her songs and not be a supporter of cheating in a marriage. Fans who literally grew up listening to her songs can't just one day stop listening to her songs and thinking about her (at least not in my view). They might start to feel conflicted about her as a person tho but I am sure they'll still have some love left for her old hit songs.

We talk about not being judgemental, being liberal, and being open-minded so why are we still so constricted at the same time? Life and its choices aren't black and white most often you find yourself in the grey areas. Who are we to judge so easily? We as a queer community would get offended if someone judged us just for putting a pride flag on our profiles. So why are we judging just because someone has their Hogwarts house mentioned in their profile? One might say the first is homophobic but isn't the latter prejudice?

Mind you I am talking about the people, the allies who have nothing to do with the writer, who just enjoy the books, and the movies, who find comfort in that story, relate to characters and have loved them for years. What's their fault? All this hate just because they fell in love with the wrong franchise? Which had nothing to do with the trans community when they were created and enjoyed by the fans. One can take a stand and still love Harry Potter.

I am sure many people from the queer community itself are part of the fandom. Wolfstar shippers flood Tumblr with love and how most of them are queer. You can't say that they're transphobic.

Criticism is necessary I am not saying don't criticise the wrongs. If there's no criticism one might never know what they did wrong. Wrongs should never go unchecked.

Criticise the artist for their choices and actions. Don't hate someone who just fell in love with the art.

Don't turn a blind eye to the wrongs. Don't follow the artist blindly. Be mindful of your own choices. That's all you could do.

I don't have Hogwarts house mentioned in my profile. I dont even own the books. Sure I've read the books and watched the movies. But I sure as am not even gonna judge someone blindly if they've mentioned their Hogwarts house.

I respect all your views you might not agree with me and you don't even have to but I believe that you'd at least be respectful of my views. I most often don't even comment on controversial things out of fear of judgement and rejection but this is something that I need to get off my chest. I am not transphobic, I have never been. I respect everyone regardless of who they love. So here I am just keeping my views and hoping that you guys would at least be respectful enough and correct me if I said something wrong.

At the end of the day, I am just trying to find a place in this world.

[savebylou]

Goodbye FITFWT we will always remember you.

This tour has give us so much to the fans. Louis after the LTWT was a different performer, a more confident artist who saw the support worldwide.

With FITF he created an album that he felt it was more like himself, he show even more confidence with the type of music he wanted to make, an album that was created to perform live and oh boy how correct he was. This album sound it even better live if that was even possible, I remember the first show in Uncasville and how everyone was so amaze of how good the show it was, LTWT was incredible but FITFWT was in another level. He and the band make something so unique and amazing every night for 97 shows.

The setlist was iconic (except when he cut songs that I love 😑), his intro in the screens writing Faith In The Future, The Greatest as an intro song, his covers where amazing, the creation of the megamix breathtaking with the rainbow lights, the moment during All this time to see the crowd, Saturdays with Lucía shining above Louis, the screen graphics, the camera following Louis during ooms, the ooms intro!! Silver Tongues and the end song with the lyrics I don't feel like going home because we were already at home in Louis' show. I could go on and on on this but just an amazing setlist and stage, lights and pyro design moments.

I will cherish every speech Louis gave, the acknowledge of the fans support wheter this was in person, online or in any way. I will remember all the times Louis said he felt incredible confident and grateful because of the fans, that he never imagined to be in those big venues and now he is, the times that he didn't feel good but the fans make him feel better and he still sing his heart out and sound it amazing.

I will remember all those livestreams I watch, all the emotions I felt every show hearing the songs I love and thinking how I will never get tired of seeing Louis' shows because how mesmerizing he is and how incredible his music is, especially live.

I will remember all those comments, reactions, the beautiful gifs this fandom made, the memes and just the community created here sharing a experience online that somehow it makes us feel part of the show in some way.

Watching Louis' shows during this last year especially has been a beautiful gift, seeing his grow, his happiness, his surprise for every fan project and the crowd excitement, his jokes, his battles with bugs, his odds challenges, his circle game, seeing all those post interactions in some shows where he show more of his personality, etc.

I keep saying this but we are very lucky to have an artist like Louis who always wants to share as most of his time as possible with fans and share as most experiences as possible in different ways, whether is doing shows in places that is not that common to do it, seeing fans after shows, taking a photo in hotels or airports, doing a worldwide livestream, giving us the live album etc.

I'm very thankful for this tour, for Louis, the band and his team that make this possible and for the fandom that either in person or online make everyone feel part of something special that I will never forget it.

Thank you to the livestreamers who allows to be part of their shows, to the updates accounts here in tumblr that work so hard to share as much content as possible, to the gif makers, the curators of content, the people that make edits, fanart, memes, reactions, texts to discuss, I appreciate your time and hard work to share that content with us. And thank you to the people that reblog all that content because this way more people see it.

I can't wait what the future holds for Louis and his brilliant mind. The sky is the limit for Louis and there is nothing that is going to stop him to keep shining his talent to the world.

[pardonmydelays]

TTPD - my final thoughts

so... this album, according to taylor, came from a need to write. now i actually have the need to write this essay. it's an honest opinion, i gave it one last listen & i analysed all the lyrics. this is how i've spent my entire sunday. if you're a sensitive hardcore swiftie, don't even bother to read it. i've already lost a lot of followers because i was being honest lol. this is mostly for my friends, because they actually care about what i think. so i went through hell every song once again & those are my final thoughts (warning: i'm not being very nice & this is super chaotic & messy, but so is the album):

FORTNIGHT

super boring production & i usually love jack... i also can't believe it's the first single from this album? i like the music video tho. the b&w aesthetics are everything. she is kinda trying to sound like lana here, at least this was my first reaction when i heard this song. "i was a functioning alcoholic til nobody noticed my new aesthetic" - what the fuck does that even mean, i hate this line. "all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february" - i feel like she is trying to be poetic but this is such a weird line? kinda reminds me of how the first verse of "red" (the song) was a masterpiece, but she kinda got lost in the second verse, it's like trying to write as many metaphors as you can but they are just... not good. sometimes less is more. "i love you, it's ruining my life" - i love the way she sings this line & this line in general. i kinda like post malone in the outro (even tho i don't listen to his music). i don't give a shit about the lyrics to be honest, it's just not doing anything to me, i'm so indifferent (except those few lines i mentioned). overall it's a boring song & a skip for me. i tried to like it but i just... don't.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

i don't hate this song, but i don't love it either. it has good moments. but it also has terrible ones. also, it's too damn long. i don't know. "you left your typewriter at my apartment, straight from the tortured poets department, i think some things i never say, like who uses typewriters anyway?" - i absolutely fucking love those lines, simple words, nothing "big" but i feel like this is what i love the most about taylor's songwriting - when she's not tying to be poetic & she is just writing simple things like that & i kinda love the way it rhymes, can't explain but this beginning is so good!!! "who's gonna hold you" - i love the way she sings this line. "we're modern idiots" - i also love this. "nofuckingbody" - sounds like something i would say so i'll take it. "you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate, we declared charlie puth should be a bigger artist, i scratch your head, you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever." - & here we fucking go... i hate the way it doesn't rhyme? i usually don't mind it when things don't rhyme but somehow it really bothers me here? also this is such a terrible line & it ruins the whole song for me... i like the melody in the bridge tho & i kinda like how she mentioned jack there? i don't know why.

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVOURITE TOYS

i like the chorus? "once i fix me he's gonna miss me" - i know everyone loves that line but i don't??? i don't know, i just don't.

DOWN BAD

i kinda like the production. the melody is so great. "for a moment i knew cosmic love" - i just ADORE the way she sings it. "fuck it if i can't have him, i might just die, it would make no difference" - love it, so relatable. i don't have much to say about it but i like this song in general, it's not amazing, not a masterpiece, but i do like it & i will probably listen to it sometimes. maybe even add it to some of my playlists.

SO LONG, LONDON

beautiful intro, everybody say "thank you, aaron". i didn't love it on my first listen, it grew on me tho, i even love the production on this one now. it has simple lyrics, but it's beautiful. "so long, london, you'll find someone" - so simple & i love it. i love her voice in this song SO MUCH. "& i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free" - i hate how much i relate. "i'm just mad as hell cause i loved this place... for so long..." - i had a mental breakdown today because of this one line. i can relate. also i think this is the best line in the entire song, at least to me.

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

nothing will ever save this song, even my boy aaron dessner. no, actually, the production is not bad, i have so many issues with the lyrics tho... "but daddy i love him! i'm having his baby! no i'm not but you should see your faces!" - i wanna die i wanna pretend i didn't hear it (also it's not only the fact that this line is fucking terrible, but the way she sings "his" - i don't even hear this word? the lyrics says it's there but i can't hear it? & it bothers me so much???). "stay away from her, the saboteurs protested too much" - is this line about us, the fans? the way i fucking laughed, this is embarrassing. (why is this song so long i hate it so much) ok, i hate how much i love the sound of the bridge because the melody is really really good there but the lyrics... "i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' & moanin', i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace, i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing, god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me, sanctimoniously performing soliloquies i'll never see, thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me and counteract the chemistry and undo the destiny you ain't gotta pray for me, me & my wild boy & all of this wild joy, if all you want is gray for me, then it's just white noise, & it's just my choice" - i'm sorry but the way i laughed I WANNA KILL MYSELF THIS IS TERRIBLE TERRIBLE I HATE IT SO MUCH SHE LITERALLY DIDN'T SAY THAT... wild boy, THIS IS SO STUPID OH GOD- i need therapy after listening to this song & i'm afraid she also needs therapy because this is just unhinged. i don't wanna talk about this song ever again, in a perfect world it doesn't exist. let's move on.

FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER

kinda nice melody, don't care about the lyrics at all because it's boring. also, why is she talking about marriage again, she is literally so desperate to get married it's almost scary. it feels like she doesn't even care who she's gonna marry, she just wants to get married, period. oh god.

FLORIDA!!!

i love the vibes, the production is FIRE! love love love florence in the second verse! "and my friends all smell like weed or little babies" - i know what she was trying to say, but i still hate this line lol it's so cringey. "well, me & my ghosts, we had a hell of a time" - love love love this line. ok, but to be fair, i don't know what this song is about, but i am vibing. i love it, it's good.

GUILTY AS SIN?

it grew on me, i love the melody, i love the production. i hate to admit it, because we all know what this song is about, but i actually genuinely love the lyrics. "oh, what a way to die" - love this line & the way she sings it. "i keep recalling things we never did, messy top lip kiss, how i long for our trysts, without ever touching his skin, how can i be guilty as sin?" - i hate myself, i love it so much, god help me. "i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault" - as a lowercase girlie i had no choice but to love this line. ok, idc, i love this song, crucify me if you want.

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

i love the production, i think it's one of the best songs on this album. the way she screams "who's afraid of little old me?" - LOVE THAT. "well you should be" - love that, it's powerful. i love the entire bridge, it's so good, i just don't like the line "you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me", because wtf, is this about her childhood home? come on taylor, please, be serious. i think the way she sings "that i'm fearsome & i'm wretched & i'm wrong" is my favourite part of this song. i genuinely love it.

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)

i don't give a single fuck about this song, i just wanted to say the line "i can handle me a dangerous man" is so fucking stupid, now let's move on because i'm bored.

loml

she sounds really good in this one, i love the entire chorus, the way she sings "it's legendary", the way she sings "you told me i'm the love of your life" with sadness in her voice, i love it. somehow "if you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary" makes me think of "sometimes there's no proof, you just know" & i just made myself cry, idk. i hate "mr steal your girl" it sounds so bad in this song. bridge! so fucking sad!!! "it was legendary, it was momentary, it was unnecessary, should've let it stay buried" - i absolutely love this moment, probably my favourite part of the song. "you're the loss of my life" at the end... bro. it should be track 5.

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

the post chorus, omg i hate the production, it makes me want to kill myself, it sounds so bad, omg. i genuinely wanna die. "lights camera bitch smile" - i hate it. "he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short, breaking down i hit the floor, all the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more!" - i love this. i really do. the best part of the song for me. "i cry a lot but i am so productive, it's an art" - honey, no. this album is the best proof that it, in fact, isn't art. "cause i'm miserable & nobody even knows!" - but... we knew? (i can't stand this production for real) the ending, oh dear god i hate it so much, it sounds bad, it's terrible, taylor go to therapy because you're clearly not ok & it shows.

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

i don't have any thoughts on this song. it's boring & unnecessary, let's just move on (sorry aaron).

THE ALCHEMY

this is the worst song on the album (me about every song). "this happens once every few lifetimes" - taylor, honey, this happens to you with every single man. stop. get some help. all the football references make me want to kill myself, let's just skip it. it's boring anyway. i can't fucking listen to it. oh no, wait... "he jokes that it's heroin but this time with an E" - ???? even MY jokes are funnier. ok, i'm fucking done.

CLARA BOW

not a bad song but the "you look like taylor swift in this light" is so cringey to me. i hate it. it ruins the whole song for me. the production is really good tho, but i don't know. i'm so indifferent. i'm kinda disappointed with this one tbh.

THE BLACK DOG

it's a beautiful song. "old habits die SCREAMING!!!" - the delivery of this line, yes ma'am. "and i may never open the way i did for you" - i love it so much. also the lyrics in the entire song - so simple & beautiful, i love the storytelling here. the melody in the chorus is amazing. "and i hope it's shitty in the black dog" - yeah, me too. i love this song. it's so good & sad. one of the best from this album.

imgonnagetyouback

olivia rodrigo? hello? boring boring boring, i hate it

THE ALBATROSS

i love the production so much!!! i don't have much to say about the lyrics? i don't love it??? but it's fine i guess. but the production is really interesting, & sometimes that's enough to love the song. maybe it will grow on me. i like it now tho.

CHLOE OR SAM OR SOPHIA OR MARCUS

"if you wanna break my cold, cold heart" - i fucking love the delivery of this line, she sounds really good here & really sad. actually, the chorus is beautiful. "so if i sell my apartment, & you have some kids with an internet starlet, will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon?" - hello? maroon reference? ok i love this, i also love the way things rhyme in this part of the song. the lyrics is so simple & beautiful, once again, less is more. it's a great song.

HOW DID IT END?

the "oh-oh" in the intro, LOVE IT. i really love her voice here. "my beloved ghost & me, sitting in a tree, D-Y-I-N-G" - heartbreaking. & thanks for mentioning me in a song. "but i still don't know, how did it end?" - it kinda makes me think about all my relationships (not only with guys but also with my friends) & how sometimes you really don't know how it happened that they are no longer a part of your life. it makes me feel sad. i love the song.

SO HIGH SCHOOL

"touch me while your bros play grand theft auto" - oh my god. this is so bad. it's so bad. i don't like it.

I HATE IT HERE

INSTANT FAVE, SO RELATABLE, THIS IS MY SONG!!! "i hate it here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind people need a key to get to, the only one is mine" - me as fuck. that i can say for sure. "no mid-sized city hopes & small town fears, i'm there most of the year cause i hate it here" - the way i literally realized that this is where i spent my last year, it's almost scary but this song definitely goes to my "when the truth pops out" playlist. i'm gonna pretend the racist line in the second verse doesn't exist. "lunar valleys in my mind" - i fucking love this line. "i'm lonely but i'm good, i'm bitter but i swear i'm fine, i'll save all my romanticism for my inner life" - OH MY GOD. I WROTE THIS SONG. I SWEAR. i relate to this so much. i hate it here. i love this song.

thanK you aIMee

so at first i liked it but then i realized it's about kim kardashian & i actually hate it now, taylor, please, can we finally move on? it's been YEARS, imagine how tired we are.

I LOOK IN PEOPLE'S WINDOWS

the production is good, i love the repetitions of "out", "now" etc. not much to say about it, but it's kinda nice? it's so short tho.

THE PROPHECY

i absolutely love the production on this one, it reminds me of "augusta" by gracie abrams & i love this song so much (also produced by aaron). i love the chorus & all the rhymes here. i don't... love the song in general, but i like it & i think it might grow on me.

CASSANDRA

ok, you know what, it's a nice song, but i am so damn tired of hearing about the same thing over & over again... 2016 was eight fucking years ago, taylor wake the fuck up & move on??? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT ANYMORE JESUS I AM BORED.

PETER

i am genuinely crying right now, because i only have one person in my mind when i'm listening to this song & the words "you were gonna come find me"... oh god (i've had one person in my life who said they were gonna find me one day when i told them i'm gonna leave this shitty town & move to the city of my dreams. they didn't find me tho. the biggest what if of my life. i wanna die right now). it's a good song. i actually love it, probably because it's so relatable for me.

THE BOLTER

i actually like this one. the production is great (good job aaron!), i like the lyrics, i relate to some of this, not gonna get into details tho. none of it is outstanding, but it's a good song. i'm just tired, this album is too damn long.

ROBIN

"way to go tiger" - i love the melody & the way she sings this line. it's such a sweet song & i just learned that robin is aaron's kid's name, i love it. it's nice. nothing amazing, not a masterpiece but i like it.

THE MANUSCRIPT

"if the sex was half as good as the conversation was" - i kinda love this line (no, we are not geting into the details of who this one is about. i just said i love this line). also what a way to end the album: "now & then i re-read the manuscript, but the story isn't mine anymore". i love it, because now these stories are ours. it's like i told bel on friday, i'm gonna make this whole damn album about me & my life.

if you made it to the end, congratulations. to conclude: taylor should have worked more with aaron, less with jack. i usually love jack, but this time i feel like i've heard it all before. i still think this is her worst album. it's too damn long (31 songs!!!). it has some of her worst lyrics ever. most of those songs were totally unnecessary. maybe the entire album was. i genuinely think she should just take a break. i am really disappointed with this album & i am mad as hell because i wanted to love it. well... i made my own version. i think i'm not gonna talk about this album anymore. i also think i need a break from listening to it because i am genuinely tired. bye.